There Comes a Time... THE AWAKENING A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in
the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks, and
somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
1.Enough
fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down
after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to
look at the world through new eyes.
2.This
is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince
Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't
always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee
of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a
sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
3.You
awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are
entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of
loving and championing yourself, and in the process, a sense of newfound
confidence is born of self-approval.
4.You
stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or
didn't do for you), and you learn that the only thing you can really count on
is the unexpected. You realize that people don't always say what they mean or
mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that
it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and take care of
yourself, and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of
self-reliance.
5.You
stop judging and pointing fingers and begin to accept people as they are and
overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process, a sense of
peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
6.You
realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is due
to all the messages and opinions ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to
sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you
should look and how much you should weigh what you should wear and where you
should shop and what you should drive how and where you should live and what
you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and
what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising
children or what you owe your parents.
7.You
learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin
reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You
learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the
doctrines and values you've outgrown or should never have bought into, to begin
with, and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.
8.You
learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. That there is power and glory
in creating and contributing, and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a
"consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such
as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the
mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
9.You
learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world, and
that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that
martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love.
10.Romantic
love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop
giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your
feelings onto a relationship.
11.You
learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or
important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You
learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have
them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn
that just as people grow and change, so it is with love.... and you learn that
you don't have the right to demand love on your terms... just to make you
happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...
12.You
look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a
size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside
your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
13.You
also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over
and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly
OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that
you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
14.You
realize that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and
respect, and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a
lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the process,
you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body
really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You start eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to
exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and
fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter
fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
15.You
learn, that for the most part, in life, you get what you believe you deserve...
that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything
worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen
is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn
that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and
perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK
to risk asking for help.
16.You
learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all
time... FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it and to give in to
fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to
fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending
doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you
think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that
God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life
happening.
17.And
you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that
negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and
redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe
that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building
bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon
the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
soft, warm bed, a long hot shower.
18 Slowly,
you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you make
yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever to settle for
less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you
can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
19.Finally,
with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you
take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best
as you can.
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